Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

I was tired of fighting.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Midea is recalling its U-shaped air conditioners because of potential mold growth - The Verge

The sadness was still there.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Be who you already are.

How do Greeks identify themselves in terms of civilization? Do they feel more connected to Western or Middle Eastern civilization and why?

I had run out of hope.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

How come I can't stay sober?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

You are like me, then.

Pacers defeat Knicks in 6 games, advance to NBA Finals to face Thunder - NBC News

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Why do I randomly start sweating a lot in public (while waiting in line, in a new class, etc.) then start sweating more because I’m embarrassed that I’m sweating so much? Is this social anxiety?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I was tired of trying and failing.

CRISPR gene editing in blood stem cells linked to premature aging effects: Study offers solutions - Medical Xpress

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s here now, writing to you.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Walmart quietly jacks up prices — despite Trump’s demand for retailer to ‘eat the tariffs’ - New York Post

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

MAGA activist Steve Bannon claims Elon Musk got physical with Scott Bessent, reveals all details - The Economic Times

And the sadness?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s still here.

Yankees get completely manhandled by Dodgers in ghastly blowout loss - New York Post

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.